Online dating, is it just setting you up a fall?

online dating
Is online dating all it is cracked up to be?

We can all agree that online dating has become a new phenomenon in how to meet your life partner. Thousands of people in Ireland log on to sites like Plenty of Fish every day in the search for their soul mate. Hundreds of pairs have been matched online all across the country with millions also logging in worldwide. It seems that online dating is the way forward but is it really?

While we can agree that thousands of couples have met their perfect match online, is it much better than meeting someone face to face and falling for them the old fashioned way? While online dating offers a fun service and gives you the advantage of choosing who you speak too, do you ever really know who the person behind the other screen is?

While some people have gotten lucky in meeting the person of their dreams others have just had complete nightmares. This begs the question, is it that much better than meeting someone out in a pub? Most people join dating sites because they are “sick of the pub scene” which is completely understandable. It is reasonable to think that all these people are single and have had a disaster of a time in the past either holding down a relationship or securing one at all. In fact, many are probably so sick of drunken guys/girls chatting them up in a nightclub and nothing ever amounting to it that they have decided to try online dating.

What makes online dating so different?

Not much in my opinion. While picking up strangers in a bar may get tiresome at least you know what you are letting yourself in for. You can quickly judge a person by how they act and carry themselves. Even if they do just want a one night stand, it is easy enough to figure out. Thousands of relationships have been formed out of one night stands or random meets in a pub; they are not necessarily a complete write off. However people have begun to look onto a computer screen rather than seek human contact and make a personal judgement.

What sits behind the other computer screen?

While many argue that drunken people are only out for “the one thing” they will find that the same goes for many online dating users. In fact, many go on these sites to look for others to hook up with for easy sex. So what is the difference? You still have to decipher who is the real deal and who just wants sex.

When you do meet someone online who you believe to be genuine, then you have to figure out if they are really who they say or if they are a complete phoney and total creep. Then you go through some awkward, “trying to get to know one another”, messages before finally deciding to meet. That inevitably leads to the awkward first hello, the forced conversation, the uncomfortable silence before finally settling into some good conversation. Then there is the predicament of what is expected next, do you sleep together? If all goes well you may get a second date, a relationship or, if nothing else, some good memories.

So what is my point?

While some good can come of dating sites, a lot of bad can come too. You could meet someone who isn’t who they were claiming to be and things could go completely awry. You could meet for a date but even if it all went well you might never hear from them again, which leaves you in the same predicament as the one night stand.

There is so much emphasis put on online dating nowadays that people seem to forget how we did things before that. While picking up a drunk person in the pub isn’t ideal and has all the same pros and cons of online dating at least it has the human element attached to it. Meeting people face to face and establishing a connection has a lot more to say for it than establishing a connection with a computer screen.

What is the solution?

Get out there, get active, get in control of yourself and your own life and don’t just hope the right person will come along. If you want to meet someone with similar interests to you, go out and explore your interests, you won’t find them on a computer screen. Anyone can write a profile and fill it with misleading information to make it sound great. It takes a person with real life inside of them to go out and enjoy what they claim to be interested in. Join some clubs and interest groups which fit the description of what you are in to and what you want in a potential partner. Take people at face value and not at words typed on a screen.

If you have met someone online that has blossomed into something more, then all the best. For the rest of us however, don’t get so caught up in the online dating craze because you may be setting yourself up for a fall.

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