Ah no I’m only taking the piss, he didn’t really. We only wish he did! He did however discuss a few things that were on his mind while also letting us in on a few things we were wondering. In this in depth interview Longford Memes tells us why he hates Longford, why the guy objecting to the Cathedral is a twat, why people from Keenagh are fools and who the soundest person in Longford really is.
Longford memes appeared on our Facebook timelines a few months back with the sole purpose of ripping the absolute piss out of Longford. He reckons he is just saying publicly what we are all thinking, Longford is a kip and gone to the absolute dogs.
The thing about this guy is he doesn’t mean to intentionally offend any particular person; he simply wants to have the craic while pointing out a few glaringly obvious facts about the place.
There has been some serious speculation about who this guy is and what the fuck his problem is. The thing is he doesn’t have a problem; he just has a seriously twisted but hilarious sense of humour. You have to admit we have all laughed at his memes and his posts over the past couple of months. It did however get a bit dry at points with people attacking the guy and fighting on his page, taking it all a little too seriously.
At the end of the day it is a joke and a bit of a laugh at the things that make Longford an awful place to live. Don’t get me wrong now; I’M not saying it is an awful place to live, I think there are some bloody great things about being from Longford, but there are some seriously fucking shit things too and this guy is just pointing them out, while being a funny fucker at the same time.
We all need a joke and to take things a little more lightly but sadly some people don’t. Longford Memes has been abused and threatened as people swear they are going to get his IP address, track him down and kill him. Go on Liam Neeson, pull the other one!
The posts have now turned into videos and by the looks of things as long as there is people in County Longford fighting, getting in trouble and making fools of themselves, Longford Memes will be there to rip the piss.
Here is what we talked about:
Firstly, where the fuck did you come up with the idea for Longford memes?
I was sitting at home one day flicking through meme pages on Facebook when I realised there was none for Longford. I consider myself to be an internet troll so I said fuck it, I’ll set it up…and the rest is history.
Are you from Longford?
Born and bred here my darling!
Do you actually hate Longford?
Yes, I know I live here and it’s my home but the town has become a fucking disgrace and anyone who says otherwise is lying!!! Nothing but fights, drugs, 14 year olds getting pregnant. I saw in the paper last week locals saying ‘it’s gone to the dogs’ and they’re right. People are afraid to walk through the town on their own.
How many admins are there?
One main admin (Me) and then 2 content creators.
Are they aware of your true identity?
They are indeed. And I can trust them with me life. Know these fella’s years.
How many people know your true identity?
Truthfully, In and around 10 people. Yeah, it’s a lot. But look, my secrets been kept so far and that’s all I’m worried about.
Who are you?
Go on give us a clue!
Are you still in school?
No finished that craic years ago.
What’s up with the squeaky voice in the video? Have you hit puberty yet?
That’s a silly question isn’t it obvious? To disguise my voice, in each video my voice is gonna sound different so that people can’t guess who it is.
Did you ever get beat up in Keenagh or why do you hate it so much?
No, but a year or so ago I got into a row with one of them on Facebook, he started it like. And after about 5 minutes of me talking shit to him, I swear ta god about 20 lads from Keenagh came on the status saying they’re gonna get me and kill me and all dis shite and sure he was the one that started it like. Cowards! Can’t defend themselves on their own. Plus I hate the way they can’t even pronounce their own villages name; Keenagh not ‘Kaynah’ – fools.
What is the worst place in Longford to live?
I’d have to say Springlawn in Longford Town. My god what a kip, ya can’t walk through it without some scumbag throwing pebbles at ya or saying ‘Aw sham cumere a minute’ and then when ya don’t he goes ‘innocent boy I’m gonna get you’ – I feel sorry for the elderly who have to walk through that dump.
What is the best?
Ooooh tough one. I reckon Ballinalee would be the best place. Nice, quiet, SAFE – fuck all ever happens in Ballinalee so it’d be a nice place to settle down ya know.
What do you think of Longford Town FC?
LTFC FOR LIFE – Love de town!! Getting promoted this season we are! The club doesn’t get enough credit from the people of this county. It’s all about that GAA shite.
Who in your opinion is the soundest person in Longford?
That’s a good question…I’d have to say it’s a woman who works in PV’s. I won’t say her name but when I was in school, me and da boys would go there every so often for a sambo and fuck me she made the nicest Chicken toastie ever! Lovely woman I still go in and have the craic with her every now and again!
What do you think should happen to those people who keep fighting on Longford Streets?
Look its more the Garda’s fault then the people. I came out of Blazers one night and seen a huge row erupt on the streets. Two garda sat in their car watching it happen. I knocked on their window and asked were they gonna do anything about it and they told me to get away from their car – They’re fucking cowards in this county and lazy ones too. But I do accept that there are some fools who go out just to fight and without even knowing them, I know that they’re unemployed, dole scroungers who need to grow up.
What do you think would happen to the economy of the town if Deli Burger shut down?
It’d be a complete disaster. Deli Burger is a huge economic and social point for the town and if the place ever went there would be uproar too. Deli Burger make the money there’s no point denying it the place does always be jammed but Jesus, ya think they’d start doing deliveries now!
What is the best pub in Longford?
Foxes hands down!!
How do you sleep at night knowing so many hate you?
Look, if people hate me from what I’ve said or done on Longford Memes then let them. I set up the page to entertain the people of Longford. Some say I take it too far sometimes but that’s me – I have a sick sense of humour. Some like, some don’t. I get a weekly reach of 12,000 people. That’s 12,000 people who look at the page regularly so I must be doing something right eh? Nobody will ever find out who I am so really, they all hate a ghost.
What would you like to say to those who think they can find you?
Lads, give up. You’re not gonna find me, if ya were, ya would of done it by now. You’re not gonna get my IP address or anything like that. The security is in place for my identity to be kept a secret. Those of you who actually try and find me – get a hobby, matter of fact, get a life. Someone who feels personally insulted by my page and the content on it needs a reality check and needs to take their head out their arse. It’s not all about you.
What do you think of the continuous objections to the Cathedral?
Your man, we all know who he is, is a complete gobshite. I don’t even give a fuck about the cathedral cos I’m not religious but even I would like to see it rebuilt and standing tall one day again. It’s a landmark, a symbol of Longford and for some twat to try and object to it being rebuilt, well all I can say is that man must be extremely bored with his life and needs to get out. – A woman that’s what he needs.
Right chose which you would prefer from these:
Spiral or Blazers?
Neither, I like pubs better. Blazers let’s in 15 year olds and Spiral is smaller than my garage.
Deli Burger or Luigies?
Hughie Doyles or McKeons?
Hughie Doyles with a bit of Bucky!!
Keenagh or Moydow?
Neither they’re both full of fools – Colmcille!
Slashers or Grattans?
Two shite clubs.
Farnagh or Springlawn?
Buckfast or Devils bit?
Best place for lushing, the Mall or Canal?
The mall, ya can sleep there too on the hammock in the playground!
Finally Longford Memes, what can we expect from you in the future?
Big things are happening!!! More videos will be uploaded but we’re currently in the process of creating a sort of ‘hardy bucks’ like series about Longford where myself and a few of the boys will be recording a day in the life of various people around the county. It’ll be a comedy series aimed to shock so watch this space. So yeah, we’ll just keep plugging away, uploading pics and videos and evading the hardy shams.
Nice one Longford Memes! So that’s it, he hates Longford but loves LTFC, the sound one in PV’s and Foxes bar and Deli Burger should start deliveries! You never know, those of you trying to find him, if you hang out in these places long enough he may just pop his head in.
And before you all ask, no I haven’t a fucking notion who he is! We did this interview over Facebook of course! Even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell. Looking forward to seeing this series he is going to make. What about the rest of you?
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